What’s In A Name?: Los Angeles, CA
It seems the entire world is currently captivated by a certain 8-pound newborn. The building anticipation finally came to a head yesterday with the birth of the future King Of The World, but with one question being settled (boy or girl?), one more has come forth: What’s his name? This is unquestionably a heavy decision for any parent, especially when the name that the parents give to said child will literally alter the course of history. Surely, the Cambridges have a slightly heavier crown on their collective heads than the average parent (see what I did there?).
But honestly, what’s in a name? Being the owner of a delightfully offbeat name myself, I know firsthand the importance of a name and what that name carries (if there’s any doubt that a name can alter a person’s outlook on life, try to order me to run and see what happens. I dare you), and take great pains in deciding a name for just about anything. Every time I was able to name a family pet, I made sure that the name had meaning – no Fluffy or Spot under my watch. Even the soon-to-be-illogical title of this blog incorporates a little bit of irony and alliteration. So with this heightened importance that I’ve placed on naming conventions, what am I going to call my new car?
The Blue Camry never really had a name. It just kind of stuck after years of referencing my car by its outward characteristics. It’s blue, and it’s a Toyota Camry. With my new car, I’m not sure than I can really do this: The Indigo Mazda3? The Blue 3? It’s a bit clunky, and sounds eerily close to the name of a certain rapper’s offspring.
I tend to shy away from people names when not naming people (and for the avoidance of doubt, I have never named a person). It might be a personal hangup, but I believe that giving human characteristics – such as a human name – to a non-human seems a little odd, and insulting to any person I know who happens to have that name. However, people seem to like giving cars people names. For example, and with apologies to all of the Beths who I’m acquainted with, I know of one person who named her car Elizabeth. Another example, in my freshman year of college, two of my best friends began calling my car Derek, but I just couldn’t wrap my head around a people name for a car, and it never stuck. My point of this is, any people names are out.
If I wanted to continue with the “color-model” theme, there aren’t very many combinations that would feel right. The aforementioned suggested “Indigo Mazda3″ is most accurate, but it fits like O.J.’s glove. “Indigo Lights Mica” is the full name of the color, according to Mazda, but all of that seems a little bit too… twee… you know? “It’s not blue, it’s Indigo Lights Mica.” Technically correct, but let’s not split hairs.
Even if I was to continue with the “3″ theme, I will not name my car Dale Earnhardt, Babe Ruth, Chris Paul, or Dwyane Wade. Although “The Chronicles Of D-Wade” does have a certain comic book-like kick to it. Wouldn’t you read The Chronicles Of D-Wade? I would read The Chronicles Of D-Wade.
I could steal a page from the royal family and bestow a regal name to my new arrival. William, Duke Of Cambridge. Charles, Prince Of Wales. Catherine, Duchess Of Cambridge. Thomas Lee, Saint Of Los Angeles? You know what, scratch that. This paragraph never happened.
But actually, maybe the royals have had it right all along. They’re expected to wait days before they even decide on a name for their child, and they’re taking their sweet time with the knowledge that the entire world is literally waiting for them to make up their minds. I have no such pressure on me. Nobody is holding their breath and refreshing Google News every eight seconds to see what I’m going to refer to my new car as. Honestly, I’m not even holding my breath. For now, it’s still the Chronicles Of Camry, now featuring Indigo Mazda3.
Posted on July 23, 2013, in Day & Age and tagged 2013, california, car, Chris Paul, Dwyane Wade, King Of The World, los angeles, Mazda3, name, royal baby, run Forrest run, socal, travel, will and kate. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a Comment.